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The Best Frame Wins

By: Kenrick Cleveland..

Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rear view mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.'

Yeah. . .that's never happened. Why? Well, law enforcement doesn't concern themselves with your inconvenience or worry about offending you or bothering you. They don't operate within the frame of concerning themselves with your experience of them. They operate from the perspective that they are in charge and that you will do exactly as they tell you to do. They operate with the assumption that they have all the power in any interaction of this kind and they're quite comfortable in their use of this power.

Of course not all officers are this extreme, but I'd say a good majority of them are.

The frames we set for ourselves and our exchanges with others are what color every business transaction and every romantic or personal interaction we have. Whoever sets the stronger frame, wins.

I'm not suggesting that every of our interactions is a power trip but simply that when we approach a situation, we have to have our resolve set and our intentions in place. My approach with a new student would never be, "Well, I suppose I could help you learn to increase your sales with some ideas about persuasion." No way! First off, I know full well that I can teach anyone to increase their sales and I'm not in any way shy about being able to do that. If I were shy about my ability to help people, I wouldn't be worth my salt as a persuader.

Our ability to frame is what we can use to control the situations we're involved in. Extending that to any area of our lives, we see exactly how frames operate and dictate the behavior of those around us and can moderate our responses as the interaction takes place.

We have the frame of the sales person and the prospective client. One frame that operates is, 'Prove to me why I need you or why I should use you.' That might be a frame that the client is coming from. A frame that the adviser might adopt might be, 'I am the expert in this field and so I work with people who understand that and can take advantage of what I tell them.'

Those are two strong frames that are utilized all the time. Here's a frame that isn't strong and will put you in a one down position: 'I guess I'm not really anybody. I lucked into getting my license and now I'm representing a few companies because a friend hooked me up. But maybe there's something I can do to help you.'

Am I going to sign up with that guy? No. No one is.

Before your next meeting take some time to think about the framework you're using to work with the people around you.

Article Source: http://www.gcyarticles.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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